12 June 2015

What I got for my 20th Birthday

I'm not one to ask for anything for my birthday. I don't like attention and hate bothering anyone with my picky taste. My idea of a perfect birthday would just be a day celebrating with my whole family (whether that be partying at Disney, or staying home watching GoT). My birthday fell on a Monday this year which made me quite happy as I got out of having a party (social anxiety problem #6394729). I woke up in the morning and proceeded with my regular morning routine (smoothie bowl, coffee, YouTube, the norms) I actually had a ton of etsy work to do but I said "fork it" and took the day off.  My mom and I went to the post office to ship any orders that were finished and then proceeded to take a trip to the mall. My birthday cheat meal of choice was a bagel (boring I know but they're my fav!) I still wanted to go to CrossFit as I can't pass up a good birthday wod (yes that is a thing-even if I just made it a thing) and then I ended the night just like any other, watching late night tv with my mom (Conan is my preferred late night show of choice). All in all it was a regular day, and I'll be honest I was dreading turning 20. It scared the crap out of me. My mom was married, living in Alaska with one kid already at my age!! Pure craziness. I have decided that my 20's will be no different than my teens. Sure I'll have more bills, responsibilities, and I guess I can't wear my pj's till  noon anymore (like that's gonna happen) but I'm still going to be the same girl. I'll love just the same (most likely more). I'll have more reasons to laugh. I'll have more wisdom, passion, and courage to pursue my dreams. I'll grow closer to the Lord. I'll most likely get a bigger family (maybe even start my own..who knows) but I'm still going to be me. I have learned in the past year how to really enjoy being me and grow a better relationship with myself. I never thought I could get to this point where I stop comparing myself to everyone else (don't get me wrong I still have bad days...I am not perfect after all) but I couldn't imagine being anyone else but myself which just so freeing to say. I have let go of a lot of bondage in the past year. It has been one of the best years of my life and I have no one else to thank but the Lord. He truly never changes. His answers are always different but the story will always end the same. How comforting is that?! And to think I can't  even fathom just exactly how much of a blessing that is! And so what I got for my birthday this year was just complete peace. All surpassing and perfect peace. I've actually had it all along, I just lost it in the everyday distractions and chaos of this busy society we live in. This post is actually all over the place (I was going to actually show the materialistic things I got for my birthday but I'm listening to music as I write this so I got a little carried away...hehe). All I hope that you get from this post is maybe just a little spark of light. That extra reminder to say that everything will be OK (more than OK)! I want this place to inspire, not provide envy. Motivate, not boast. Give, not  grieve. I'm just using every bit of juice I have to provide any bit of light I can. I think I need to wrap it up here. Sorry this was long, and didn't make much sense (still working on the writing part of blogging) but it just kind of happened. I hope you don't mind! Please let me know how you're doing in the comments! Have any tips for a new girl a part of the 20's club?! Hehe ;)


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